Before I was a kid, I don't like my body; Im small, and fat. I also got bullied when I was in elementary, they are telling me that I have a big nose and if I inhale, they are gonna die because I will take their oxygens. That bullying story didn't end until my 7th grade. When I was on 8th grade, I was body shamed and harrassed by my gay classmate. He was touching my breast, and even the lower part of my body. He thought everything was a joke because he was making fun out if it. 

Then, one time, my friend invited me to go to SOULS CHURCH. It was summer that time and I joined the youth service called SOULJAM UNLIMITED. I saw myself singing the worship song and dancing. I am not good at dancing that time.

And when I was on my 9th grade, I was judge because of my inability to dance. They always put me to the very last line whenever we had a group/class dance presentation. I remember the time we did a cheerdancing, they placed me in the very last row and edge.

Every mentoring in our church, there's always an altar call and after altar call is the victory song and every victory song, we run in front and dance for God.

Then there was this primary leader that told me about how my dancing was good.

But that didn't end my insecurity. On my 9th grade to Senior High, I was insecure of my breasts because it is big and I thought it is  not suitable for a teenager like me.

BUT HOW DID I OVERCAME THOSE INSECURITIES?

1. I LEARNED HOW TO LOVE MYSELF
Everytime I faced the mirror, I kept looking at my nose and say, "what a beautiful creation that God designed this nose only for me.

2. I USED MY TALENT FOR GOD'S GLORY
I danced like nobody's watching.

3. I OBEYED GOD'S COMMAND
He gave me this kind of talent so that I will use this to obey Him.
I joined the class theatre last 2018 and basically, I am living in a dream I actually prayed for.

Year 2019, I was part of the school dance team and we performed for the "Buwan ng Wika.
I didn't auditioned for the school theatre and didn't hoped to be part of it because my schedule was very conflict that time.
But then, one night, somebody texted me, "You need to go to the avr tomorrow at exactly 6 pm. You are now part of the school musical play called THE GREATEST SHOWMAN!" and I was shooked reading that message. 

But that didn't end my struggle.
By simply obeying God, there was also a disobedience that was happening around.
I obeyed God when He called me to do it but partly of the obedience was the disobedience. 

It was a blessing that God called me to do it, to be on theatre again but I disobeyed Him by not being responsible of my personal relationship with Him. 

Truly, I obeyed but I obeyed God's command but disobeyed to be with Him in His command.

And that disobedience broke me. God let me experience to be in a friends' rejection and a massive betrayal. I was left without knowing any reasons why. 

When I was broken I couldn't run to Him because I know in the very first place that I disobeyed Him.
God also took away some of my talents. He took off my gift of speaking, I couldn't motivate them anymore. I wasn't able to talk freely because I was afraid to be judged. He also didn't let my season to come.

Then, everything has changed.
My perspective in life. I became independent with my spiritual life. And became irresponsible with my mental health.

And the enemy attacked me.
Satan kept on blaming me for not being able to do it, he kept on comparing me about my dancing skills to my friend, and he condemned me by not praying to God.

Fastforward...

Actual performance night of the play, I asked my cellmate/friend/manager/churchmate to pray for me.

I was half naked that night. And when I say half naked, what I meant is that I wore a croptop, short shorts, and I was bare foot.
That was my outfit for performance.

There when I got out from that curtain, its like there is something inside of me that was healed by God. 

Moral of the story: 
- If God planted something inside your heart, He will make it grow.
- His purpose in our life is unstoppable.
- Disobedience will tear you apart
- Obedience has always a great blessing.