I am overweight. My weight doesn't match with my age. This started when I was in grade school. I don't know what happened to me. All I know is that time, I was bullied. And me, being the kind girl, I accepted all of their criticisms. And I think I ended numb at all. 

This pandemic, all I think is how can I lose weight. Add the fact that all I see in social media sites are glow ups, body changes and etc. This made me feel so bad at myself. I am so eager to lose weight to the point my mom scolded me cause I am not eating anymore (still fat lol). I am so stressed out. All I can hear from people (usually relatives)  that I am so fat. They kept on asking me how do I end up this big. Yes, I feel numb but I can't stop thinking why of all people, my relatives will make me feel so miserable. I lost my confidence. Like, big time. I stress out too much that my skin started to experience breakouts because I don't give my body the care that it needs. Insecurities piled up to the point that at this moment, I keep on thinking how my body will change. hay. But I realized something. Why am I thinking about what people thinks? If I keep on thinking about how I would please them, hell, I would go nuts. Yes, maybe they want me to be fit, but I don't have to be a person who will live with the stupid standards of the society. I must accept what I am, because this is me.