First of all, the photo I used is not mine so all the credits goes to the owner thank you! :)

The effect of online class to me was really serious. It was my first time having these type of learning since I'm used to the normal one in which I would wake up early, prepare, and go to school. But since it's difficult to do that, we are all stuck at home in front of radiation producing gadgets learning our lessons by our own.


The unlimited assignments and tasks that was given made me feel numb. At first, I thought it's just for this week but I was all wrong when I saw that our professors were just posting more and more assignments for us to answer. It was too many and too hard. Some of them are assignments I don't even know what to answer but since it's online learning, I am left with no choice but to still answer it by my own. 

I always pause after long hours of working and I would give myself time to cry and cry and cry. After that I continue again because there's no enough time to stay emotional and break down for a long time. The food that was used to excite me doesn't have any impact to me at all. The idols that used to made me smile and inspire doesn't do their job anymore. The things that made me happy, doesn't make me happy anymore. I feel so anxious to meet the professors, I feel scared that after all of that assignments I've passed, all of my efforts won't still be enough, I feel terrified that when I woke up I would see an assignment/task I don't know what or how to answer again. 

I want to end it. End all of this. That is where negative thoughts creep in. But I guess I have a stronger faith and strongest God. Every night I would just talk to Him, I don't pray that much because I am certain the He exactly what I'm going through, what I'm feeling and what I need. The stress, depression and anxiety that online class had brought was serious. It is something I didn't know I would feel but I guess just like what I did yesterday, I'll survive again today. 

This too shall pass :)

Hoping you're safe and happy wherever you are. Sending you all the courage, happiness, and warm hugs you badly need. We've got this! We can do this. Hang in there, don't worry so much and don't forget to LIVE ^_^